Starting My Pool Float Quest
Okay so summer hit hard this year, right? My old vinyl pool floats kept popping like bubble wrap. Seriously, stepped on one last week and boom – plastic confetti everywhere. Decided it’s time for foam floats that actually last.
First stop was that big department store downtown. Grabbed every foam float I could find. Pro tip: carrying six giant pool floats through parking lots makes you look insane. Got stares like I was smuggling rainbow clouds.
Testing Them All Out
Dragged everything to my buddy’s pool (mine’s a kiddie pool, no way). Started with the classic lounge chair style. Looked comfy but surprise – turns into a teeter-totter when you sit. Almost flipped backwards chugging my soda. Epic fail.
Next up: that massive pizza slice everyone’s obsessed with. So awkward to carry! Felt stupid hauling a 5-foot pepperoni slice. Worst part? The cheese part sank like dough while the crust stuck up. Couldn’t even sit properly without water splashing my face.
Tried the basic rectangle mat last. Slid it in the water and guess what? Actually worked! Just laid there drifting like a leaf. Sun on my face, not worrying about drowning. Perfect lazy Sunday material.
What Actually Works
After drowning half my pride, here’s the real deal:
- Simple foam mats: Cheap and idiot-proof. Just float without drama
- Oval floats with cup holders: Held my drink AND phone dry. Game changer
- Thick circular pads: Sat cross-legged like a pool Buddha for 20 minutes straight. Zero wobbles
Surprise loser? Anything shaped like food or animals. That flamingo? Neck kept dunking underwater like it was snorkeling. Giant donut? Soggy frosting sagged after fifteen minutes. Fancy ain’t always better.
Final Thoughts
Learned it the hard way – skip the Instagram bait floats. All those animal shapes are garbage unless you want to constantly adjust. Stick to solid foam slabs or donuts. Got sunburned as hell testing these but hey, at least I’m a pool float expert now. Time to actually enjoy my pool before summer’s gone!